Only Makes You Strive Harder
So it has been about 3 months since I last updated this site. and while I have taken a mini-hiatus I have not been sitting idle. I got really sick there for awhile and discovered that while I had happily lost weight it was how I did it that mattered, and once I figured out that my kidneys were going to fail, I started taking eating a little more serious. I ended up finding out that my ex had given me somethings that were gifts from another woman and all the while I have talked to a few guys to try and rekindle the, "I am still attractive", to reaffirm that I was still a woman. While I am not nearly on my feet, I am still trying to get my life together and am still pursuing modeling full-force, head-on, no holds barred.....While I have gone through many ups and downs with my kids, my family, my life and myself, I have stayed determined to follow this through. I thought when I first started this endeavor that I would have a lot more support from friends and family, but that was not something that could be easily done under the circumstances. At one point I decided that my modeling was just some flicker of imagination toying with my emotions, and I followed that up with trying to go back to school. Well let's just say that while I still want to pursue finishing my education, I will not be giving it my full attention right now. I have tried finding a regular 9-5 but with little to no formal education, and no little piece of paper to prove I am smarter than the high school button pushers, I have been cast out of the blue collar careers. So here I sat constantly looking at this site or that one, and waiting for a bright light to cast some insight into my otherwise bleak outlook.
I had all but given up when lo and behold, what do my fair blue eyes see in my e-mail box? Oh! Look! "You have mail", whooo hoo....I found this wonderful little e-mail, and enclosed was a letter from a guy who wanted me to diddle myself in stockings, for his own personal collection he says. Wow, what a way to start off my career? So I slowly backed off of that guy, and the next, and the next for that matter I stopped responding all together from all modeling endeavors. While avoiding all these people, it dawned on me one night that I could not be a hypocrite. I have my own "kinks", why shouldn't I showcase these types of fun for all? So I started looking around the web and the two places I have found to do me the greatest justice are, Model Mayhem and One Model Place. Now whether or not these sites work for you or anyone else is not my choice. But as far as I am concerned they are the platforms that any new face to the industry should apply to be on or just sign up. The perks to MM are that you are surrounded with real models, photographers, as well as Photoshop wizards and make-up artists. One Model Place is great for amateur models who are looking to get a quick leg up, and it does work if you promote yourself accordingly.
A few weeks ago I contacted a man who has a profile on both MM and O.M.P. and after a few hours I had received an e-mail back. Now here it is a week before my first big shoot, and its not just a shoot I get to work with another model. Wow, can we say I am trying to chuck it all together at one time, nahhhh....I am so excited about all of this....Then after some more networking, I have now lined up another possible shoot with a photographer who resides near my area. And as the days press on, I wonder, what the hell am I doing? Do I really have what it takes? What am I forgetting? But most of all, I am wishing that the passion that I feel for modeling will come out in the photos that are to come. I cannot wait for my first good shoot, where I get to walk away with a smile and a check, and know that what I just did was art.
A few weeks ago I contacted a man who has a profile on both MM and O.M.P. and after a few hours I had received an e-mail back. Now here it is a week before my first big shoot, and its not just a shoot I get to work with another model. Wow, can we say I am trying to chuck it all together at one time, nahhhh....I am so excited about all of this....Then after some more networking, I have now lined up another possible shoot with a photographer who resides near my area. And as the days press on, I wonder, what the hell am I doing? Do I really have what it takes? What am I forgetting? But most of all, I am wishing that the passion that I feel for modeling will come out in the photos that are to come. I cannot wait for my first good shoot, where I get to walk away with a smile and a check, and know that what I just did was art.
